Michael Malice: Thanksgiving Pirate Special

What's your opinion on my bird here, Mr. Parrot? It's a Macaw. Scarlet Macaw.

The box? Yeah.

What's your opinion on my bird here, Mr. Parrot? It's Macaw, Scarlet Macaw.

So what do you find funny? What makes you giggle in the most joyful of ways? The suffering of others? I mean, there are YouTube videos of fat people falling down and they're really funny.

Okay. It is Thanksgiving. So in the tradition, following tradition, what are you thankful for, Michael, in this world? Do you have a list too?

What's in the box? Is it your fragile ego? You stole my joke. You stole my joke. That was the joke I made at you before we recorded. You stole my joke.

Karl Marx wrote that, "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of a soulless condition. It is the opium of the people." As the famous phrase goes. Do you think he has a point? No. I hate that quote. I absolutely hate it. I despise this sort of Reddit internet atheist activism for the simple reason that I know many people who in finding faith have become objectively better human beings.

It's ridiculous. You have actually a lot of really cool stuff at your place.

What do you think about Camus as a writer? I don't like his novels at all.

Yes. There's a lot of loneliness and sadness in the world.

Yeah, of course. I'm more anxious than depressed. I don't really get depressed, but I've been depressed. Like low points.

Okay. Well, the way your mom explained it then is way different. What are you most afraid of? Holy crap. I am trying to think of anything I'm afraid of.

You ever been betrayed? Oh god, yes. Of course. Haven't you?